Conversation Partner Part 2

Today I met with Fanny for the second time. It was much more comfortable between the two of us this time since we had already had a previous encounter. We sat down and immediately got into the swing of things. It was as if we were old friends. I believe the thing I'm enjoying the most about meeting with Fanny is that she is so welcoming to me. She has said multiple times that I should meet her mother and get to know her, and if I am ever traveling abroad to "any Latin country" (she knows families everywhere!), she will call ahead and let them know I will be staying with them. I think her culture and upbringing has taught her that when she meets someone and discovers they are a good person, she immediately shows them affection and takes comfort in them. She has told me so many personal things about her husband and child, and I am so grateful that she trusts me with so much information about her life. That is a vital difference between the culture she was brought up in and the American culture. In America, I feel that we are taught to distrust everyone we meet, and constantly be skeptical of people's actions.  I also believe that we have to live life with a certain level of distrust, because there are so many bad people out there, and trusting strangers could lead to danger and pain. 

Today we began our conversation discussing the difficulties of daily life in America. I was complaining of being exhausted from school, and about how much harder it is to live off campus than on campus, because I had underestimated the amount of house duties there are: bills, trash, bugs, groceries, etc. She said she was also tired, since she goes to school every day with a TON of homework, from what she was describing to me, then she goes to pick up her daughter, helps her with her homework, cooks dinner, cleans the kitchen, does other household duties, puts her daughter to bed, and then when all of this is finished, she gets to BEGIN her homework. She said she is lucky if she gets to bed by midnight, which is insane, considering she gets up around 5am every morning to fix breakfast and a lunch for her daughter, and drive the 40 minutes to take her to school, then get to class on time. It finally clicked for me exactly how hard it would be to be a mother and have to attend school regularly as well. She explained that when she was just a student, she could stay up late studying and make school her number one priority, not worrying about anyone else, but now that she is a mother, she spends all of her time focused on her daughter and the household, and a lot less on herself. 

We also discussed the differences in holidays in America versus in Columbia. She, like myself, is Catholic, and she celebrates Christmas, but in a different way than many Americans. They do not believe in Santa Claus, in fact they dismiss that idea entirely because they believe it is sacrilegious. They believe the baby Jesus brings the presents if you have been good all year. Again, same basic principle as many Americans, but without Santa Claus. They do not celebrate a Valentine's Day, but they have an equivalent holiday on March 8th called Women's Day. In Colombia, the women is prized far more than the man in many ways, and all praise goes to them. She said that there are tax benefits to not only being a woman, but to also being a single woman, so many choose not to get married, in order to maintain the tax benefits involved. She told me a funny story about Women's Day last year in her household. She got very dressed up and put on heels, and waited all day for a big surprise from her American husband (who did not understand that the holiday was basically equal to Valentine's Day here). At the end of the day, when nothing special had happened, she was furious with her husband, who did not understand her anger. I found this story so comical because though she was upset at the time, she laughed it off now as being nothing more than a cultural difference, and compromised with her husband to celebrate both holidays in their household from now on. I thought this was beautiful because now they not only don't have to be angry at one another twice a year for cultural differences, but they get to express how much they truly love one another twice a year. This was very special to me and I appreciated her sharing this story with me. 

Fanny made me promise that I was going to suck it up next time we meet and speak in Spanish. She kept saying "Don't be scared, you see I make mistakes too." This made me feel so much better because in front of a native speaker, I AM TERRIFIED to speak Spanish! I realize she does it when talking to me, but it doesn't change the fact that I have yet to speak to someone in Spanish who wasn't trying to teach me the language. I will build up the courage and speak Spanish next time!