Conversation partner PART 5 - Hair, Dance, and Obsession.

When I showed up to the bookstore to meet with Fanny, I hardly recognized her. She had cut her hair about 4 inches, and it was now very short and right under her ears. When I saw her I immediately told her how cute I thought it was, and she immediately said how much she hated it. I laughed at her response because I feel like that is one subject that is the same globally for women. HAIR. Why is it such a big deal? Nobody knows, but it is nonetheless. We ended up having a pretty long and profound discussion on hair and why it is so important to us and how it seems nobody actually LOVES their own hair when it's changed. When we are used to something on ourselves and looking in the mirror to see the same thing every morning, when there is a change (good or bad), we hate it. We have this strong distaste simply because it is foreign and we all to a certain extent, fear change. But still, why is hair such a big deal to women?

 I am not going to lie and say I don't also have this irrational obsession with my hair, and wouldn't go absolutely crazy on someone if they so much as cut an inch off without my permission, but still women are very irrational about their hair. She was then saying that she could tell her husband didn't like it too much, but would not out right tell her for fear of hurting her feelings. He kept using phrases such as, "It's so cute, but so short." She said she could see right through his expressions but that she appreciated that he wouldn't tell her he didn't like it, since she was already so upset with the change.

I found it very interesting, the similarities of humor and marriage in our two very different cultures. She laughed at the same funny "fibs" her husband was telling, but a woman is a woman and she still cared so much that he said he liked it. Any woman feels this way, I guarantee it. She may say she wants a change of hair for herself, but in the end, she will hate it until someone close to her reassures her it is a nice change.  Again, there are some distinct differences between women and men in this case. Most men could not care less what happens to their hair. They often shave it all off, if it is uncomfortable "touching their ears" or "under a helmet." I've heard the most utterly ridiculous and hilarious reasons for men cutting their hair. They don't care about it, and I truly think they would not have any on purpose if they had some weird fear of balding. I for one, don't find balding to be an issue. Evolution teaches us that men who bald have more testosterone than men who don't, and therefore, females are often attracted more to men with this increased amount of testosterone as a sign of protection and reproductive success. Not to get all scientific on everyone, but I simply have never found a dislike of men who don't have hair.

Fanny and I also talked a lot about dance, which made me ecstatic, seeing as dance is one of my main passions in life. We talked about her daughter Katie, who as she put it "got the dance genes from her father and her father dances like a robot."  She said since she was a baby, Katie couldn't move with fluidity and her teachers would say that she would get better with time and that there was no means for worry. Fanny knew though that she would never have the coordination of some of the other girls in her class. Now that Katie is older, she has started realizing that she doesn't look the same as some of the better girls, and has stopped wanting to go. Fanny is finally able to take her out of classes and stop paying for something poor little Katie is not so talented at. She does however have a knack for piano and music in general, and Fanny is looking into putting her into piano lessons.

We also discussed parental issues. She is definitely a sheltering parent and has trained Katie to be a careful child. For me, this is a touchy subject, because different parents feel very strongly about their methods of parenting and it really is nobody else's business. She doesn't let Katie go to sleepovers at all, even to her grandmother's house. I think this may be a little extreme but she does have her reasons, and her past in dangerous countries and seeing the things she saw gives her leeway to protect her child the way she sees fit. Parenting is always cause for debate in societies and here in America, it is almost necessary to overprotect one's child. 

I am loving meeting with Fanny and we are growing a fond friendship that I am very pleased to have.